The grandparent scam: how it works and how to stop it

The phone rings late in the evening. A young voice, upset, says, "Grandma, it’s me. I’m in trouble. Please don’t tell Mom." Then someone else gets on the line, a "lawyer" or "police officer," and explains that bail money is needed today.

This is the grandparent scam, sometimes called the family emergency scam. It works because it goes straight for the heart. Anyone would want to help. The scammers count on that.

How the scam usually goes

The details change, but the pattern is very consistent.

1. A panicked call. The "grandchild" has been in a car accident, been arrested, or is stuck in a hospital, often in another state or country.
2. A second voice takes over. Someone claiming to be a lawyer, bail bondsman, officer or doctor explains what’s needed.
3. Secrecy. "Please don’t tell Mom and Dad." Or a "gag order" from the court means you can’t discuss the case.
4. Fast, unusual payment. Cash, gift cards, a wire transfer, cryptocurrency, or a payment app. More and more often, they say a "courier" will come to your door to pick up the cash.
5. More requests. If you pay once, they call back. There’s a new fee, a fine, a second charge.

Why a familiar voice isn’t proof anymore

Scammers can now copy a person’s voice using short clips from videos posted online. A voice that sounds exactly like your grandson, crying, using his nickname for you, can be fake. The Federal Communications Commission and the Federal Trade Commission have both warned about this.

So the old advice of "you’d know your own grandchild’s voice" doesn’t hold up. You need a way to check that doesn’t depend on how someone sounds.

The best defense: a family code word

Agree on a private word or phrase that only your family knows. If anyone calls with an emergency and asks for money, ask for the code word. A real family member will know it. A scammer won’t.

Tips for choosing one:

• Make it something you’d never post online. Not a pet’s name, a street, or a school.
• Something a little silly works well and is easy to remember. "Purple pancakes." "Uncle Ed’s boat."
• Share it in person or on a phone call, not in a group text or on social media.
• Tell every grandchild, and remind them every so often.

This is a good thing for adult children to set up. Bring it up at the next family dinner. It takes two minutes.

What to do if you get one of these calls

1. Slow down. The urgency is the trick. A real emergency can wait five minutes while you check.
2. Ask a question only they would know, or ask for the code word.
3. Hang up and call your grandchild directly on the number you already have. If they don’t answer, call their parents or another relative.
4. Ignore the "don’t tell anyone" request. That’s the biggest sign it’s a scam.
5. Never hand cash to a courier. No court, jail, hospital or lawyer sends someone to your house to collect money. If someone shows up at your door to pick up cash, don’t open the door and call 911.

Real bail is not paid with gift cards, crypto, or cash handed to a driver.

If you already sent money

Act fast. It doesn’t mean you were foolish. These scams fool smart, careful people every day.

1. Call the company you used to pay, right away. Your bank, the wire service, the gift card company (the number is on the back of the card), or the payment app. Ask them to stop or reverse the payment.
2. Call local police using the non-emergency number, and keep the report number.
3. Report it to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov.
4. Tell your family. Scammers often call back, and family can help you screen those calls.
5. Expect follow-up scams. Someone may call offering to "recover" your money for a fee. That’s a second scam.

If you paid with gift cards, see our guide on gift card scams and what to do.

Settings that cut off the first call

Many of these calls come from numbers you don’t know. Turning on call screening on a smartphone means a stranger has to say who they are before the phone even rings. Our guide on how to block spam calls walks through it.

For more warning signs that apply to every phone scam, read how to spot a scam call or text.

When to get help

If you’re an adult child worried about a parent, you don’t have to have this conversation alone. Our Scam Shield visit sets up call and text blocking and safer sign-ins, walks through the common scripts in plain language, and includes a follow-up call 30 days later. We help families across DC, Maryland and Northern Virginia, at home or by video. Book a free 15-minute call and tell us what’s going on.